Oftentimes one person has a lasting effect on our lives. A teacher who made a difference in us. As you entered your teens that person who treated you as an adult early on. Each of us has a story. Mine was not a teacher but a butcher in a small neighborhood grocery store with a meat counter. His story also was different. I do not know how he became a butcher. He had studied to be a pharmacist, was an accomplished musician, a WW II veteran and always had time to listen. I was much younger than him, coming from a most different background but I admired his knowledge in so many things, and his decency with everyone. When a customer was being rude, acting obnoxious my first reaction was anger but not his. He displayed gentleness and kindness by helping this person. I was not so forgiving then. Even after the passing years I still think and ask myself, what would he do? How would he handle this? Do we no longer meet people who we view as worth emulating?
We may not recall what a person said but we absorbed something. We learned to respect others, the elderly, the neighbor who would always help, that one great friend who always stood by you in the schoolyard when sides were being chosen for games, or the people we knew who didn’t have as much as us or were in someway different.
The value of this lesson came to full fruition when Uncle Sam sent me an invitation to join the army. I did not want to go, not so much because of the Vietnam Conflict, I simply liked my lifestyle and had no desire to leave. During my service I learned the Vietnamese language, taught by young Vietnamese people about my age at the time. Not only the language but the culture and history were part of the curriculum. Between the study and the conversations with these instructors I learned much. Thanks to what I had learned several years before from a simple man, a butcher. He taught me respect. In the Asian world respect is an intimate part of who they are as a people. The manner of addressing people showed your respect for that person. Such an important concept but I wonder if we retain any of that.
Respect certainly is lost in our political discussions. Previously we would remind others to say “chairperson” not “chairman,” avoiding or at least minimizing any signs of bigotry. We shifted away from that beginning in the 1980’s. 2015 clearly changed our perspective when Donald Trump announced that he would build a wall between the US and Mexico. He said “[Mexico] are sending people that have lots of problems, and they are bringing those problems to us. They are bringing drugs, and bringing crime, and they are rapists.” Instead of being a defining moment in his candidacy for president, it became a starting point.
Knowing how we got to this place requires knowing where this began. Imagine no war, no hatred, no discrimination, or bigotry. Everyone working for the good of others to create a society where everyone is given the opportunity to be the best version of themselves. This concept has been distorted,misunderstood, or weaponized by those in power and authority. Creating a worldview of scarcity, judgmentalism, fear, and stinginess. Why would anyone want to live like this?
We tend to tear down or put our imprint on what we see in others. We must stop where we are now to take stock and consider. Freedom includes a responsibility to recognize its legal and proper limits. If we consider what we expect of our selves, our view of others will likewise change for the better. If we look back then behave as individuals, without mistaking freedom for individuality, we will accept others. We can be better, less judgmental, or fearful, and become free individuals living a life worth emulating.
Phil's Personal Perspectives 